Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Whatever Remains, However Improbable, Must Be the Truth

Several times in this space -- August 1, 2006, August 24, 2007, and September 23, 2007 -- I declared the death of the hirsute tyrant whose idealized, hippie-manufactured portrait appears (appropriately enough) to the left, citing as evidence the fact that his Communist government insisted he was still alive, and even paraded a scrub-brush-faced old man in front of the cameras to prove it.

Now it has been announced that Castro will step down from his post as thug dictator President of the Glorious Cuban Revolutionary Island Paradise, thereby most likely leaving his little brother Raul in charge.

Whereas back in August of 2006, a groveling western media was grieving on behalf of the poor Cuban public, soon to be bereft of a leader they almost had a right to expect would live forever, this time, patronizing attention is turned to the Cuban exiles in Miami's Little Havana. While Castro's abdication apparently touched off some celebrating in the streets, AP reports that "the community's reaction to the news, long expected to spark vibrant celebration, was filled with caution." Of course it was filled with caution. The exiles are realistic enough to know that a new Maximum Leader doesn't necessarily entail a change of regime. What Cuba needs is an end to, and a repudiation of, the Glorious Revolution, and restoration of property rights and other basic human freedoms, pronto.

AP solemnly advises us that "Most exiles view Fidel Castro as a ruthless dictator who forced them, their parents or grandparents from their home after he seized power in a revolution in 1959," leaving us to conclude that this is a mere matter of their opinion which, given their obvious lack of disinterestedness, need not be taken seriously. "Police said they were 'keeping a sharp eye' on Little Havana, but no disruptions had been reported. The Coast Guard said it did not expect a mass migration or see a need to increase patrols off Florida." So I guess the drive-by media, which doesn't seem to see a need to protect our borders and shorelines from Al Qaeda, does see a need to safeguard America from dangerous hordes of Cuban exiles -- who had spent decades leading productive lives in this country -- seeking to go back to Cuba to reclaim what they had been despoiled of. And they're disappointed that the Coast Guard doesn't also see that need.

Now it's tough to know, really, whom or what to believe. How does the Principle of Communist Opposites apply in this case? A statement comes out that Castro is relinquishing power, which we are supposed to take to mean that he is now no longer in power. Planted in that statement is the assumption that Castro is still living. It seems the Commies are finally admitting Castro is no longer in power -- a state of affairs that has clearly been going on for about the last two and a half years -- but are not yet prepared to admit that he has assumed room temperature, much less when. In cases where a Communist statement appears to coincide with reality, it must always be remembered that such coincidences are nearly always self-serving. So it appears, then, pursuant to the Principle of Communist Opposites, that Castro is still in power, but dead. True, it sounds incredible; but remember what Sherlock Holmes said in The Sign of Four: when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

In (what purports to be Castro's) letter announcing his abdication, it is reported that Castro declares that he had hoped "to discharge my duties to my last breath. That's all I can offer." Well, no. Assuming you haven't been dead for two and a half years, Fidel, that is NOT all you have to offer. If you really want to offer something meaningful, cease and desist discharging the "duties" you have been discharging for the last half-century, and get your little brother and your band of thugs to do the same. Then you might just begin to make some small reparations for all the damage you have done.

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