So I'm just about to go upstairs to court this morning, and I'm finishing up my coffee out of a paper cup with a lid on it. I swallow the wrong way. This causes me to cough directly into the coffee cup through the hole in the lid. The resulting high-pressure blast into the cup through the small opening blows the lid off and causes coffee to explode all over the front of my blouse and my desk.
Then, in court, I'm walking along the edge of one of the counsel tables when the handle on the water pitcher catches in my suit coat pocket. This drags the microphone and causes water to fall from the pitcher which is dangling from my pocket down all over the back of my pant leg.
I don't know whether any bishops read this blog, but if any do, I urge Your Excellencies to rethink this whole idea of dispensing from the obligation when a holy day falls on a Monday. It won't kill us to have to go to Mass two days in a row; and the foregoing just goes to prove we could use all the divine assistance we can get on Mondays.
UPDATE: Just now, right before I was about to push the "post" button, I almost swallowed the wrong way again and sprayed all over my laptop. See what I mean? Bring back the holy days of obligation!