Where He Strutted and Fretted His Hour upon the Stage

At any rate, since he was still a rookie, he might have fretted his hour upon the stage at "The Theatre," whose remains have been discovered in Shoreditch, east London.

In the early days of his career, Shakespeare belonged to an acting troupe known as the Lord Chamberlain's Men, which began performing at The Theatre in about 1594. Shakespeare himself performed there, and his early plays are believed to have premiered there.

In 1599, as a result of a landlord-tenant dispute, the owners of The Theatre took it apart overnight, and smuggled the timberes across the Thames. They used the contraband construction material to build the famous Globe Theater, which burned down in 1613, was rebuilt the following year, and finally closed in 1642.

Meanwhile, the old Theatre passed into oblivion -- almost. No one was quite sure where The Theatre stood until the Tower Theater Company started construction on a new playhouse. On August 6th, the remains of The Theatre's polygonal foundations turned up on the construction site.

The plan is to preserve the ruins on-site. Says Jeff Kelly, chairman of the Tower Theatre Company: "The discovery that we shall be building a 21st century playhouse where Shakespeare played and where some of Shakespeare's plays must first have been performed is a huge inspiration."

New Glasses for Our Souls

The USCCB has released the text of the Ordo Missae, the new English translation that will be promulgated for use at Mass upon approval of the full revised text of the Roman Missal. The text is being released in advance for study and formation purposes.
As a non-Latinist, I am in no position to offer a full critical analysis of the new text; no doubt there are deficiencies hidden from my unpracticed eye. Still, as a layman with a nodding acquaintance of the English language, I am in a position to state, based on my cursory reading, that the new translation beats the heck out of the one we've all been used to. For one thing, the style is superior to that of the old translation. For another, I see nuances and details in the new translation, the absence of which in the old translation no doubt contributed to the lack of reverence at and understanding of the Mass that is now so widely lamented. Whereas the old translation downplayed the mystical and the awe-inspiring, the new translation conduces to the restoration of humility in the face of the mysteries of faith. The Church is now described, for example, as "holy" and is referred to as "she," rather than as "it." The cup of Christ's blood is now the "chalice." And the priest will exhort us to say the Lord's Prayer as follows: "At the Savior’s command and formed by divine teaching, we dare to say...." If we had been saying that all along, would we now be suffering from the plague of imperious little old ladies grabbing our hands and trying to force us into unwanted intimacy during the Our Father?

It is as though one has been given a pair of glasses after a lifetime of nearsightedness and not realizing, until that moment, that one could not see clearly before. Consider, for instance, the scriptural allusion that for decades has been completely obscured in the short prayer we recite before Communion, but which stands out in stark relief in the new translation:

OLD TRANSLATION:

Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed.

NEW (AND MORE ACCURATE) TRANSLATION:

Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.

SCRIPTURAL ALLUSION (MATTHEW 8:5-13):

As He entered Caper'na-um, a centurion came forward to Him, beseeching Him and saying, "Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, in terrible distress." And He said to him, "I will come and heal him." But the centurion answered Him, "Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to one, 'Go,' and he goes, and to another, 'Come,' and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this,' and he does it." When Jesus heard him, He marveled, and said to those who followed him, "Truly, I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such faith. I tell you, many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, while the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness; there men will weep and gnash their teeth." And to the centurion Jesus said, "Go; be it done for you as you have believed." And the servant was healed at that very moment.

I for one am disgusted that, for so many years, we have been deprived of this Scriptural connection by a lousy translation, but happy that it -- along with many other gems and pearls -- is being restored.

Of course it is going to be painful and frustrating to have to unlearn texts that we have memorized over a lifetime of Masses. But since it is necessary to restore the liturgy to its proper dignity, and to restore us to a proper understanding of what is happening at Mass, this is a great teaching opportunity for our priests and bishops. May they make good use of it.

BY THE WAY: See Fr. Z's analysis of Cardinal Arinze's letter to the USCCB's president on the new translation.

Is Planned Parenthood off the Hook in Kansas?

Phill Kline, District Attorney for Johnson County, Kansas, has lost his bid for election to a full term of office. Steve Howe, of the Johnson County D.A.'s office, won the Republican primary by a landslide, the apparent beneficiary of a perception of Kline as more of a politician than a prosecutor. Kline has gained national attention for his courageous attacks on Planned Parenthood, against which Kline has launched a criminal prosecution for covering up the sexual abuse of children.

Is this the end of the case against Planned Parenthood (midwived, by the way, by eugenicist Margaret Sanger as part of her campaign against "inferior" races)? One hopes not. The Kansas City Star reports that Howe is also opposed to abortion, and that he states he will evaluate the case against Planned Parenthood and proceed according to the dictates of the law.

Whether or not Planned Parenthood is quaking in its boots in the wake of the Johnson County primary remains to be seen.

An All-You-Can-Eat Buffet for the Brain

I miss William F. Buckley, Jr. His books have been intellectual comfort food for me for years and years, ever since that first episode of Firing Line I watched back in college, when the century's greatest polemicist very politely and genteelly dismantled and demolished Derek Humphreys, founder of what was then known as the Hemlock Society. I am one who likes to read my favorite books over and over again, sometimes savoring them for years before going on to new ones by the same author. I have finally gotten to another Buckley book that I have been hoarding for some time -- a new treasure of his inimitable wit for curling up in front of the fire with on a cold winter's evening, and new aspects of his courage and fortitude to appreciate.

I wish I could have found a picture of The Unmaking of a Mayor (Arlington House Publishers, New Rochelle, 1977 reprint) bigger than a postage stamp; because for all that we are constantly warned never to judge a book by its cover, the cover of this book aptly previews the humor of its contents. It is the story of Bill Buckley's unconventional campaign for mayor of New York City in 1965, against Democrat Abraham Beame and liberal Republican John Lindsay.
Until late in the campaign, Buckley was dismissed by the liberal elites -- including the other two candidates -- as an "unserious" candidate, because of (a) his third-party candidacy (he ran on the Conservative Party ticket); (b) his puckish humor; (c) the fact that, as he himself acknowledged, he had almost no chance of winning; (d) his flat refusal to pander to special interest groups; and (e) his unabashedly and outspokenly conservative agenda, regarded by the elite of the mid '60s as laughable, relics of of the Pleistocene Era. Yet despite his humor, and the campaign gaffes arising from his status as a non-politician, Buckley was engaged in the deadly serious business of trying to give the voters of New York City an authentically conservative option; and above all, trying to forestall the deadly dilution of conservatism within the Republican Party, whose left-wing, anti-Goldwater candidate for mayor -- aptly described by Buckley as an "interloper" -- threatened to become a titan on the national political scene.
Although our cultural elites in the mainstream media and the universities are still lock-step, knee-jerk liberals, it is perhaps difficult for ordinary, 21st-century conservative Americans to appreciate just how much courage it took in 1965 to come out publicly and unapologetically as a conservative. But in 1965, there was no Rush Limbaugh; there was no Fox News Channel; there was no Internet; and "liberal" was not a dirty word. Because Buckley openly proclaimed unpopular truths about the state of affairs in New York City, he became an instant target for all sorts of ugly charges, from racism to anti-Catholicism (!) to being "a philosophical anarchist dedicated...to proving that the people of New York are doltish swine who are incapable of ruling themselves" (p. 293). Nor was the press above flatly distorting him, as in the episode in which his use of the word "epicene" to describe the resentment of anti-Vietnam protesters was was turned into an allegation that the protesters were homosexuals (pp. 254-258); or when, before he entered the mayoral race, his speech at a Holy Name Society communion breakfast was falsely reported as an endorsement of racist police tactics in Selma, Alabama (Chapter 1). That Buckley should have borne, to the end of what became a vicious campaign, such a burden of opprobrium with such grace is a great testament to his fortitude.

Still, it was a burden he assumed voluntarily. A savvy political analyst like Bill Buckley had to know he was in for a rough ride if he got into a political race; so why did he run? "Because," he declared in a self-interview before the National Press Club on August 4, 1965 (pp. 3-8), "nobody else is who matters." Meaning, he went on to elaborate, that "New York is a city in crisis, and all the candidates agree it is a city in crisis. But no other candidate proposes to do anything about that crisis."

In The Unmaking of a Mayor, Buckley unfolds the history of politics in New York City, laying the groundwork for the then-current state of affairs; his plan to deal with the crisis of New York City; his analysis of his opponents, and their positions, and the non-existent difference between them; the course of the campaign, which culminated in a victory for John Lindsay and a mere 13% of the vote for Buckley. He submits, for our examination, the position papers he published on a variety of municipal issues from water and sewage to air pollution to taxation; and he serves up a generous helping of morsels from press conferences, correspondence and speeches. All sparkles with the trademark Buckley wit, verve, and razor-sharp intellect.

And then there are the passages that just make one laugh out loud. Buckley on the debates (pp. 273-274):

Lindsay would arrive at the studios very tense, and instantly he would cover the desk area in front of him with a half-acre of three-by-five cards on which were graven in Magic Marker the salient points or statistics he intended to make and cite in the course of the fracas. (I had a mad impulse, one time when he went off for a moment to pose for a picture, to scramble the cards around, or maybe doctor the statistics just a little, horrible bit.)...

...Beame, so nervous that his hand shook when he reached for a piece of paper, had several notebooks, and several brilliantly memorized passages of rhetoric, one of which he never changed...-- he always closed with it. "New York has done a great deal for me. It sent me through school. I love this city. I owe a lot to this city. . . ." I commented about the third time around that if he really desired to requite his obligation to New York, perhaps he should consider withdrawing from public office in favor of me. He managed a wan smile.

On the effect of his victory on the mainstream press, if it ever materialized (pp. 302-303):

On leaving the [New York] Times building I found a television crew waiting outside to question me for comment on LBJ's sudden endorsement of Beame, which had just come in over the wire. We disposed of that subject, and Gabe Pressman of NBC, the cameras still rolling, asked me jocularly how I felt on emerging from the Times building and I said -- the kind of thingk, I fear, that makes some people gray with anger -- that it was as though I had just passed through the Berlin Wall. "What is the first thing you would do if elected?" he pressed. "Hang a net outside the window of the editor." If I had been more conservative, less impulsive -- more civic minded? -- I suppose I
would have recommended a commission to investigate the desirability of suspending such a net.

The Unmaking of a Mayor is an all-you-can-eat buffet for the brain. I toast Mr. Buckley, and pray that the comfort and enjoyment he has given me in this book has earned him at least some reprieve from Purgatory.

Dottie Zimmerman: Psychic to the Schoolkids

As one who catches at a shadow and pursues the wind, so is he who gives heed to dreams. The vision of dreams is this against that, the likeness of a face confronting a face. Divinations and omens and dreams are folly, and like a woman in travail the mind has fancies. For dreams have deceived many,and those who put their hope in them have failed. (Sirach 34:2-7)

There shall not be found among you any one who burns his son or daughter as an offering, any one who practices divination, a soothsayer, or an augur, or a sorcerer, or a charmer, or a medium, or a wizard, or a necromancer. For whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD.... (Deuteronomy 18:10-12)

Unless, of course, you are (the aptly named) Dottie Zimmerman, purported channeler of St. Pio of Pietrelcina, in which case being a medium is not only not a grave sin, on the order of human sacrifice, but a gift from God, and therefore an affirmative obligation.

Zimmerman, an ex-Ursuline nun and sister of an ex-Jesuit priest, is, reports the Toledo Blade religion editor, an "award-winning" religion teacher of 30 years' standing at St. Patrick of Heatherdowns School in Toledo, Ohio. She reports having heard voices for years, which she dismissed as figments of her over-active imagination; however, it took the encouragement of her daughter (reportedly in communication with St. Michael the Archangel) and her brother, the ex-priest, to get her to "explore" her "gift" via "dream therapy." Whereupon she began encountering Padre Pio, whom she at first, quite understandably, mistook for Merlin the magician.

So Zimmerman began entering into conversations with what purported to be Padre Pio, inquiring as to what she owed the great privilege of his visitations. Answer: "Well, because you have the gift. You have something that you have to do with it. You have this gift but you weren't accepting it. The angels kept tell you [sic] but you wouldn't listen, so we sent in the big guns."

Having received from St. Pio the green light to practice spiritism in violation of Holy Scripture, Zimmerman began (a) teaching vulnerable children in the ways of spiritism, and (b) holding seances. In addition to "channeling" the spirits of the dead, she also "channels" the alleged St. Pio himself, who has vouchsafed to her such pearls of wisdom as the following:

-- On the upcoming U.S. presidential election: "All [the candidates] are all having their plans, their paths. Which one do you feel comfortable with? That, my brother, is your choice and I cannot tell you that." There you have it, the official word from Heaven: makes no difference whether or not Catholics support candidates who support abortion on demand, or any other anti-Christian principles. It's all in what we're "comfortable" with.

-- On the candidacy of Hillary Clinton: "But do know that there was no accident that there was a female within this, because her purpose was to open the awareness of the line of the females, of the path of the females, not her particularly, but the path of a female, that nurturing, that love aspect that is part of what goes along with the term female." Too stupid for comment.

-- On the priest sex abuse scandal: "The priest abuse and some of the other things, that is not making the church a bad or a good place. The way it will work is how it is handled. And in those dioceses where it is being handled openly and with compassion and with care, and explanation and openness, I think those parishes and that church there will be very strong." Easy enough to believe this could have come from a priest who devoted hours and hours on end in the confessional to reconciling sinners to the Church for the sake of their salvation.

-- On the fate of the 9/11 terrorists: "[E]veryone who 'transitioned' that day went immediately 'home,' or into heaven, 'including those who perpetrated this particular incident. They didn't have their 21 virgins in their party but they were celebrated for three days in partying and love and acceptance because they did what they thought they were supposed to do.'" Too appalling for comment.

Padre Pio is alleged to have closed a recent seance by bidding the participants "to be open, to be aware, and I ask you to laugh because laughter is so wonderful, and to love and to breathe deeply often during the day." Compare and contrast to the homily Pope John Paul II delivered on the occasion of Padre Pio's canonization, in which he said:

Throughout his life, he always sought greater conformity with the Crucified, since he was very conscious of having been called to collaborate in a special way in the work of redemption. His holiness cannot be understood without this constant reference to the Cross.

In God's plan, the Cross constitutes the true instrument of salvation for the whole of humanity and the way clearly offered by the Lord to those who wish to follow him. The Holy Franciscan of the Gargano understood this well, when on the Feast of the Assumption in 1914, he wrote: "In order to succeed in reaching our ultimate end we must follow the divine Head, who does not wish to lead the chosen soul on any way other than the one he followed; by that, I say, of abnegation and the Cross."

All of which leaves us with just two questions, the answers to both of which are at once sobering, frightening, and readily ascertainable: (1) who is Zimmerman really contacting during her seances, and (2) is she one of your children's teachers?

August 1st: St. Alphonsus Ligouri

Did you know that St. Alphonsus Maria de Ligouri, Doctor of the Church:

-- Was a scion of Neapolitan nobility?

-- Started out as a lawyer -- was in fact quite a famous lawyer, until he lost an important case and abandoned the law at age 27?

-- Had an almost all-out war with his father over his priestly vocation?

-- Founded the Redemptoristines, a women's order, before founding the Redemptorists?

-- Was effectively expelled from his own congregation by Pope Pius VI?

-- Was an accomplished musician and composer?

-- Wrote over 100 books -- many for the average reader?

-- Resolved never to waste a single moment of time -- and spent over 90 years carrying out this resolution?

St. Alphonsus' Prayer for the End of the Day

Jesus Christ my God, I adore you and I thank you for all the graces you have given me this day. I offer you my sleep and all the moments of this night, and I implore you to keep me safe from sin. To this end I place myself in your sacred side and under the mantle of our Lady, my Mother. Let your holy angels surround me and keep me in peace; and let your blessing be upon me. Amen.

Diamonds? Nah, I'll Take Rhinestones Instead!

The latest in Japan: fake Christian weddings. You have to see the video to believe it.

Which video raises some questions:
1. Can these "weddings" be valid even in the eyes of the state, since they are apparently not being presided over by accredited ministers of any stripe?
2. Re the "evangelical pastor" who rationalizes profiteering off this craze by claiming that it is "spreading the Gospel": was Jesus only kidding when He said He was the way, the TRUTH and the life? Didn't He warn His disciples that without Him, we can do nothing? That He is the vine, and we are the branches, and the only way for us to bear fruit is to remain in Him?
3. Do not the people of Japan have reverence for their ancestors? If so, is there a sense in which their use of fake Christian trappings is not an insult to those of their forebears who persevered in their faithfulness to the substance of Christianity -- even through persecutions that left them without a single priest for two centuries?
4. If those who are offered a choice between diamonds of the first water and rhinestones go for the rhinestones, is there a sense in which they are not nuts?

H/T Major Paul, OPL via The Redoubtable One.

Fragrant Namesake, Fetid Industry

Pornographic film-maker David Allen Crawford and alleged prostitute Agnes Jenges pled not guilty in federal court today to charges of visa fraud and perjury. Jenges, a Hungarian national, and Crawford are accused of entering a sham marriage so that Jenges could stay in the country and ply her trade out of a disorderly house in Sherman Oakes -- which, say authorities, was run by another foreign national who is also accused of entering a sham marriage for similar purposes. The sole reason this story attracts attention is that the pornographer -- known in the industry as "David Lord" -- is based in my hometown of Reseda.

Along with most of the rest of the porn industry, a fact I never knew until after the Northridge Earthquake struck the Valley on January 14, 1994. Starting in about the 1970s, the San Fernando Valley went from being a leader in the aerospace industry to being a huge player in the porn racket, to the tune of several billions of dollars a year. Apparently, a big part of it located itself in Reseda.

Meanwhile, I quietly grew up and pursued my own innocent interests, utterly oblivious to the vice and sleaze lurking just within arm's reach. Then, after the earthquake (actually centered in Reseda) devastated the Valley, the porn people, anticipating the Christian take on events, came out and notified the media that this was not in fact God wreaking His vengeance on the community for tolerating the smut capital of North America in its midst -- as if they would know. And now, instead of turning over a new leaf, this David Crawford character has used up the 14 years since the earthquake to get into hot water with the feds, in furtherance of his scuzzy career.

Reseda odorata is known for its beautiful fragrance, while the area named after it is known for emitting a rather different aroma in the moral order. Let's hope that amid the good work the citizens of Reseda are doing to beautify their streets and storefronts, they make the time to start doing something about the moral blight that has contributed, in the worst possible way, to Reseda's notoriety.

About Pre-Mass "Ice-Breakers"

About the widespread practice of making everybody shake hands and greet each other at the beginning of Mass, a few questions:

1. Is this practice prescribed in the General Instruction of the Roman Missal?

2. Is this a practice of long, uninterrupted standing such that it properly qualifies as tradition? If not, what has changed that makes it impossible for us to continue to do without it?

3. Can it be proven that this practice prevailed during the earliest days of the Church? If so, do the reasons for it that existed then still exist in the present day? If such reasons do not presently exist -- and assuming it really was an ancient practice of the early Church -- what justifies its revival?

4. Does this practice accomplish some purpose or fulfill some need that is not accomplished by the liturgy as presently constituted? If so, what is this purpose or need, and, if it is a genuine necessity, in what way does the liturgy fail to fulfill it?

5. Where this practice prevails, is it mandated by persons who have canonical authority to make changes to the liturgy?

6. Is this practice more or less likely to foster a spirit of reverence and recollection inside the church?

7. What are the assumptions about relations among parishioners that underlie the introduction of this practice, and upon what evidence are such assumptions based? Is there any evidence to support the proposition that making people engage in mutual intimacies will necessarily cause them to form friendships? If there is, what case can be made for introducing this practice to the liturgy, when there are other venues readily available and appropriate for fellowship?

8. Will this practice tend to alleviate the burdens of the introverted, the grief-stricken, and the penitent, or will it tend to add to them? Are the extroverts who tend to advocate this practice specially equipped to understand the violence that forced gregariousness does to the sensitive, retiring soul, or the soul drowning in sorrow? What effect might this practice have on the weak soul who, like the penitent tax collector in the parable, comes to Mass to try, humbly and anonymously, to make his peace with God? What interests outweigh these considerations, and why?

9. Does this practice tend to focus the attention of parishioners upon the worship of God, or does it tend to focus it elsewhere?

10. Does this practice tend to contribute to, or to detract from, the Catholic understanding of the Mass as the actual sacrifice of Calvary, represented on the altar in an unbloody manner? Does this practice tend to increase or decrease our awareness of the fact that at Mass, we are literally at the foot of the Cross?

Just something to think about.

It Didn't Work

36-year-old Katherine Gunther of Lebanon, Indiana conducted a Wiccan good luck ceremony in a local cemetery. Result: two days in the hospital after stabbing herself in the foot.

In a ritual involving candles, incense, the full moon, a three-foot-long sword, and trespassing in a cemetery after posted visiting hours, Gunther tried to plunge the sword into the earth, but missed the earth and nailed her foot instead.

I bet the handsome gentleman pictured below didn't miss what he was aiming at. If Katherine Gunther wants to wield swords, maybe she ought to try following his example.