Ring out the Bells!

It was nearly three years ago that some pusillanimous, black-hearted, soulless, mincing local politicians with microscopic sex organs muzzled a Catholic church's bells in Reston, Virginia on the pretext that they violated the county's idiotic noise ordinance. The atheists are pulling that stunt in other localities as well, even while okaying things like Muslim prayer calls over loudspeakers.

I haven't been able to find out any more about the Reston, Virginia affair. However, I am pleased to report that somebody is beating back the atheistic noise ordinance assault. In a spirit of true ecumenism, St. Mark Roman Catholic Parish, First Christian Church, and Christ the King Liturgical Charismatic Church, represented by attorneys from the Alliance Defense Fund, are suing the city of Phoenix, Arizona for criminalizing the ringing of church bells via an inane noise ordinance banning noises greater than 60 decibels. The complaint (which can be read here) alleges, among other things, that the city noise ordinance that is being used to silence the church bells is unconstitutional on its face; is unconstitutionally vague and overbroad; allows for subjective and/or arbitrary enforcement; is a content-based restriction on free speech; is not a neutral law of general applicability; and serves no compelling government interest.

The plaintiffs in this case were all sought to be silenced by the anti-bell Mafia. Whining from somebody living a block and a half away from St. Mark's led to a meeting between the parish priest, a parish employee and a lawyer for the diocese on one side, and representatives from the city prosecutor and city police. During the course of this meeting, the city prosecutors admitted to the vagueness of the noise ordinance under which the complaint was lodged. First Christian Church has held off repairing and bringing its carillon back into commission for fear of being prosecuted under the same noise ordinance.

And the city of Phoenix has given them good reason to fear. All this follows in the wake of the criminal prosecution of Bishop Rick Painter of Christ the King Church, who was actually brought up on charges for ringing his church bells. After being tried and found guilty of violating the noise ordinance, Bishop Painter was given a suspended ten-day jail sentence and three years' probation for ringing his church bells. By contrast, my average first-time DUI client is only on the probation hook for one year. Even more outrageous: the court took it upon itself to order the bishop not to ring his bells except on Sundays and a court-selected list of religious holidays. Where are the ACLU's First Amendment rampart-watchers on this?

Fortunately, we don't have to wait around for the ACLU to pull its head out of its collective nether region. Says ADF senior legal counsel Erik Stanley: “Churches shouldn’t be punished for exercising their faith publicly. The law is unconstitutionally vague and has been abused to silence a form of worship that has peacefully sounded through the streets of our nation since its founding. No one should be sentenced to jail and probation for doing what churches have traditionally done throughout history, especially when the sound of the church’s bells does not exceed the noise level that the law allows for ice cream trucks.” Amen to that.

Fr. Z heads his commentary on this story up with the following:

The late Msgr. Richard Schuler loved church bells. The lofty bell tower of St. Agnes Church in St. Paul with its four bells, would ring the hours and half hours 24/7, as well as the Angelus at noon and 6 pm, summons bells before masses, a somber toll on 3 pm every Friday, as well as ringing for the Resurrection on Saturday evenings. The great bell, "Richard", would toll at the consecration on Sunday Masses, for funerals and all the bells would peal at the end of funerals and for weddings.

These bells functioned to remind the people of the neighborhood what day it was, when to go to church for Mass, what was going on in church, when to to to pray during the day … the echo of an era when the once heavily Catholic immigrant neighbors could walk to church. A reminder to us today that religion should be woven into all our daily activities. Our Catholic identity is 24/7.

If perhaps someone would call the rectory to complain about the bells… usually someone with a snoot full or simply bilious by nature… Msgr. Schuler would make the observation that, after decades of studying the question, he had come to the conclusion that if someone didn’t like church bells, it was because they had a bad conscience about something.

All you people out there who hate church bells and other reminders of Christianity: instead of trying to drag the rest of society down into your private hell, why don't you start paying attention to the message the God Who hasn't yet given up on you is trying to send you?

Religion in the Schools: Gaia Worship

Adrienne at the Catholic Corner has this poster that a parent found hanging prominently in her child's second-grade classroom and sent to the Glenn Beck show:

This is one of the stupidest things I've seen since the "great women in history" quilt from the far-off college days with a panel honoring, among others, convicted traitor Ethel Rosenberg.

Is this in a public school? If so, I thought we weren't supposed to have religion in the public schools. Why doesn't this violate the alleged wall of separation between church and state?

Whether this is in public schools or not: parents: where are you on this crap?

The Successors of JonBenet Ramsey

Can we just call this what it is: the sexual exploitation of children. Served up by the children's parents and brought to you by your local cable company.

Toddlers and Tiaras on the "Learning" Channel is just another sleazy and embarrassing article in the brown-paper-wrapped magazine that is American television. It covers the stupid and pointless drama of people who put their kids through toddler beauty contests in pursuit of fame and fortune. The show's website features, among other things, pictures of kids before and after their sexing-up. Some of these kids look pretty unhappy. No doubt their parents maintain that they are happy, and that they are doing exactly what they want to be doing; but how is a little child to resist the juggernaut of a parent's ambitions?

Can anyone doubt that all-out war is being waged on the innocence of children? This goes way beyond a little girl playing dress-up with her mother's shoes and jewelry and makeup. This is about making sex objects out of little kids. Parents, doesn't it occur to you that you are feeding the appetites of predators? Do you honestly think you can protect your child while breaking down her inhibitions and subjecting her to this kind of exposure? Do you really like the idea of some dirtbag playing with himself while he leers at a picture of your tarted-up child?

People who want to dress something up should go out and get a Barbie doll and leave their children alone. And the rest of us should quit tuning in to crap like Toddlers and Tiaras.

H/T Carolina Cannonball.

When Did Ignorance Become a Point of View?

After crawling out from under my rock and reading yesterday's outpouring of drivel from Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, I was ready to crawl right back. Newsweek.com's headline: "Without a Doubt: Why Barack Obama represents American Catholics better than the pope" (and "pope" is uncapitalized in the original and throughout). That this towering monument to crass stupidity should be taken seriously in a major newsweekly is a testament to how far mainstream American culture has slid into the sewer.

Townsend begins with a summary of the President's visit with the Pope in the wake of the controversy surrounding Notre Shame's decision to award an honorary degree on the most virulently pro-abortion president ever to occupy the White House, and then offers the following:

In truth, though, Obama's pragmatic approach to divisive policy (his notion that we should acknowledge the good faith underlying opposing viewpoints) and his social-justice agenda reflect the views of American Catholic laity much more closely than those vocal bishops and pro-life activists. When Obama meets the pope tomorrow, they'll politely disagree about reproductive freedoms and homosexuality, but Catholics back home won't care, because they know Obama's on their side. In fact, Obama's agenda is closer to their views than even the pope's.

She then treats us to her "analysis" of the Pope's new encyclical (did she actually read it? If she did, does she pack the intellectual gear to understand it?), and then forfeits once and for all any claims to be taken seriously on any subject by declaring that "Obama (the community organizer from Chicago) could teach the pope a lot about politics—and what a Catholic approach to politics could entail." Barack Obama -- radical leftist pup who lucked into an office for which he is grossly unprepared -- a light illuminating the darkness. Pope Benedict -- theologian, professor, Prefect for the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith, author of more than 30 books, Vicar of Christ on earth -- total ignoramus.

Then we find out that the Truth in its fullness really subsists, not in the Church, but in Kathleen Kennedy Townsend:

Politics requires the ability to listen to different points of view, to step into others' shoes. Obama might call it empathy. While the pope preaches love, listening to the other has been a particular stumbling block for the Catholic hierarchy (as it is for many in power). The hierarchy ignores women's equality and gays' cry for justice because to heed them would require that it admit error and acknowledge that the self-satisfied edifice constructed around sex and gender has been grievously wrong. Before he became John Paul II, Karol Wojtyla had a telling all-or-nothing formulation: "If it should be decided that contraception is not an evil in itself then we should have to concede frankly that the Holy Spirit is on the side of the Protestant Churches." That attitude has resulted in some heinous decisions.

Most famously, in the lead up to the encyclical "Humanae Vitae" in 1968, an advisory body of theologians and laity empaneled by the pope advised that the church should reverse its position on birth control and concede that the issue should be a question for morality and for science. But authority—not truth, not love—prevailed: Pope Paul VI, listening to the advice of Wojtyla, disagreed with the majority of these advisers, who had voted 69 to 10 for change, fretting that to change this position would weaken his authority.

If only the Popes would allow Church doctrine to be decided by majority rule, then maybe Catholic doctrine would deserve to be taken seriously. But alas, this will never happen on Pope Benedict's watch. Laments Townsend: "Pope Benedict, having lived in the safety and security of the Vatican for much of his professional life, is part of this culture that silences dissent. (His last job was as the enforcer of doctrine.)" This is as opposed to the unsheltered life of Barack Obama, whose career is thoroughly uncontaminated by any experience that might suit him to discharging the high office which he now holds by dint of sheer dumb luck, let alone repairing the appalling ignorance of the Successor of St. Peter.

Then there is Townsend's tactful and delicate take on limiting the priesthood to men:

In 1979, Sister Theresa Kane, the head of the Sisters of Mercy and the president of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, greeted Pope John Paul II on his first visit to the United States by proposing that the Church provide "for the possibility of women as persons being included in all ministries of our Church," including the priesthood. This was greeted with revulsion at the Vatican, which insists that the only people who can represent God in the priestly role are those with male sex organs.

As if that wasn't enough proof that the papacy is out of touch with American Catholics (instead of the other way around), the polls are there to prove how wrong Rome is. Or as Townsend puts it, "...American Catholics do not want to be told by the Vatican how to think." 54% of American Catholics think homosexual relationships are morally acceptable. 79% of American Catholics disagree with the Pope's statements about condoms and AIDS. 73% of American Catholics didn't think John Kerry should be denied Holy Communion (or "communion" as Townsend puts it). More than two thirds of American Catholics don't think the Church should try to influence Catholic votes or even Catholic candidates. If all this is true, then it's no wonder so many Catholics had no problem voting for a man who supported infanticide in the Illinois legislature. 54 percent of American Catholics voted for Obama, proving that they're "tired of watching the church grasp frantically for control at the expense of truth and love." No wonder the country is going to hell in a hand basket.

Finally, we have the justification for Notre Shame's subversion of Catholic teaching:

Notre Dame awarded the president an honorary degree because it saw the need to highlight the best of Catholic teaching as applied to politics: the ability to open the eyes of those who would prefer to keep them closed, and to open the hearts of those who would prefer not to know the pain that their actions cause.

Now if only our ignorant, benighted Pope would get on board:

The pope has a lot to learn about Catholic politics in America.

Fortunately, we have the solution, if only he would open up his mind:

Barack Obama can teach him.

Actually, come to think of it, the Church is run by majority rule. It is ruled by a majority of Three in One whose votes outweigh those of all the papal commissions and fallen Catholic universities and Barack Obamas and Kathleen Kennedy Townsends put together.

That's something we can take comfort in.

Things I Don't Get, Chapter 27,384

***BEGIN RANT***

Why, in a city specially designed for traffic to snarl up when more than ten cars are on the road, are we going to shut down half of downtown for an athletic event? To accommodate the Ironman triathlon this weekend, major downtown streets are going to be closed from Friday evening through Sunday morning. Doesn't anybody go to church of a Sunday morning anymore? How are those of us who do go going to get there?

This is as bad as when we had the Special Olympics earlier this year, and they closed down the main drag out of town right at rush hour. Why does the whole city have to be paralyzed just so a few people can have a race?

***END RANT***

And Speaking of Emanations from Hell...

...this disgusting image of a beata (recently mentioned in this space) was commissioned by a cardinal.

And hung up in a chapel.

And blessed.



Notice also the "artist's" attempt to beatify Communists by association.

Nuggets from the News

A Man Is Measured by His Enemies. In an address in the Al-Hussein Mosque in Amman, Jordan, Pope Benedict disappointed Muslim leaders by failing to touch his forehead to the floor for remarks he made about Islam back in 2006. "We wanted him to clearly apologise," said Sheikh Yusef Abu Hussein, mufti of Karak, setting a classic example of what it means to forgive and forget. "What the pope said (in 2006) about the Prophet Mohammed is untrue. Islam did not spread through the power of sword. It's a religion of tolerance and faith," the mufti continued, barely managing to keep a straight face.

And the Saudi Judge Gives No Help to the Mufti. It's okay to slap your wife as a punishment for overspending, says Jeddah judge Hamad al-Razine. I guess there are some things the Religion of Peace and Tolerance just won't tolerate.

Liberal "Compassion." At the White House Correspondents' Dinner, Barack Obama laughs at alleged comedienne Wanda Sykes' vicious jokes about Rush Limbaugh, in which she says (a) he was the 20th hijacker on 9/11, but he was too loaded on Oxycontin to make the trip, and (b) she hopes his kidneys fail. This in an age when merely to mention B. Hussein Obama's middle name is considered "hate speech."

The Sheepification of America. Los Angeles' anonymous citywide gun buyback was so successful that it only took two hours for city officials to run out of the cheap crap they were doling out as "compensation" for renouncing a constitutionally protected ownership right. Some people went ahead and turned in their guns, even though they got nothing for them. Police reported that it was mostly little old ladies and people who looked like decent citizens who turned in their guns, thereby making Los Angeles a safer place for thugs and gang bangers.

Thanks, But No Thanks. Susan Boyle, the shock of a lifetime for the dismayingly large number of people in the world who judge strictly based on appearances, turned down an invitation to dine with Barack Obama at the aforementioned White House Correspondents' Dinner. An unnamed "source" claims she turned down the invite because she would have been "too nervous," although she "loves" President Obama and dreams of singing for him one day. This could be true; or maybe she is being diplomatic. Or, perhaps a lifetime as a book that is judged strictly by its cover has taught her not to be deceived by slick packaging. Plus, could be she has just never developed a taste for such low company as was evidently on parade at the event she was fortunate enough to miss.

Mystery Solved

At last, archaeologists know what the Eleusinian Mysteries looked like.



No wonder they were kept secret!

Happy Belated Earth Day!

Damn, I forgot all about Earth Day, the present-day incarnation of the birthday of Lenin, who, in this 1895 mugshot, looks every inch the punk kid brother of Satan.

I'll have to burn some extra light bulbs and run my internal combustion engine a little longer than usual today as a belated celebration. But I wish I could do more to expand my carbon footprint to truly Al Gore-esque proportions. I'd like to be a business tycoon, so I could build some oil refineries, or maybe even a nuclear power plant. I'd like to own all the Sonic franchises, so I could distribute thousands and thousands of drinks every hour in styrofoam cups. I'd like to be married, so I could have a big bunch of kids and contribute to overpopulation.

For thus says the LORD, Who created the heavens (He is God!), Who formed the earth and made it (He established it; He did not create it a chaos, He formed it to be inhabited!): "I am the LORD, and there is no other. I did not speak in secret, in a land of darkness; I did not say to the offspring of Jacob, 'Seek me in chaos.' I the LORD speak the truth, I declare what is right.

Isaiah 45:18-19

Catholic Universities, RIP

It's bad when -- undeterred by the furor over the same thing happening elsewhere -- a Catholic university invites the most virulently and unapologetically pro-abortion President ever elected to give a speech on campus.

It's really bad when said President asks the Catholic university to remove all Christian symbols from his sight before he'll give his speech.

It's really, really bad when the Catholic university goes ahead and does it.

"For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels."

Mark 8:38

Get a Grip

The firestorm over the Pope's decision to lift the excommunication of SSPX Bishop Richard Williamson proves once again the hypocrisy of the enemies of Catholicism, who will never allow their alleged dedication to truth and liberty to stand in the way of their implacable hatred of the Church. So at this point, maybe some statements of the obvious are in order.

1. Bishop Williamson, along with three other priests, illicitly received episcopal orders from Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre in 1988. This was a violation both of canon law and of specific directives from Rome.

2. The illicit episcopal ordination is the reason Bishop Williamson was excommunicated, along with his confreres and Archbishop Lefebvre. You can read all about it here and here.

3. The fact that Bishop Williamson holds kookburger notions about the Holocaust -- which kookburger notions Pope Benedict explicitly repudiates -- has nothing to do with why he was excommunicated.

4. The Pope's reasons for lifting the excommunications of the SSPX bishops are wholly unrelated to Bishop Williamson's nutjob Holocaust opinions.

5. In any case, having his excommunication lifted does not mean Bishop Williamson is 100% square with the Church. There is still the question of his illicit (even though valid) episcopal orders. The Holy See has announced that Bishop Williamson's ability to function as a bishop in the Church will be conditioned on his renunciation of his views on the Holocaust.

6. None of the sound and fury over Bishop Williamson's Holocaust denial has anything to do with defending or honoring the memory of those who perished in the Holocaust. It has everything to do with vilifying the Church and the Pope.

7. It is exceedingly arrogant and presumptuous for people outside the Catholic Church to think that their opinions on who should and should not be restored to full communion with the Church according to her laws should carry any weight whatsoever.

So, just to recap:

-- The excommunication that was lifted was about how Bishop Williamson got to be a bishop.

-- The excommunication has nothing to do with kookburger holocaust opinions.

-- The lifting of the excommunication has nothing to do with kookburger holocaust opinions.

-- Not only does the Pope repudiate Bishop Williamson's nutty notions, but he is requiring Bishop Williamson to do the same as a condition of being allowed to function as a bishop.

-- All those who think they have a quarrel with the Pope over this need to GET A GRIP.

Un...be...LIEVEable

This must be the latest generation of Catholic teens, weary of being condescended to with lousy liturgy and rotten music, reacting to -- so help me -- "Alleluia 'Ch-Ch'." This bit of musical malarkey is the work of OCP stalwart Paul Inwood, who has also favored us with compositions such as "Today Is Born Our Savior," an unfortunate local favorite here as a responsorial psalm for Christmas, and -- again, so help me -- "Finger-Snap Alleluia".

I still say the continued prevalence of this kind of junk is all about not having a clue what it is that really happens at Mass. At Mass, we really are on Calvary. If the music's got a good beat, and you can, like, dance to it, does it belong at Mass?

For that matter, does it belong at Mass if it just plain sucks?

Hat tip (I guess; bringing this one to my attention is debatable) goes to the Curt Jester.

More on the Boy Who'd Rather Be Named "Sue"

About a month ago, we heard about young Adolf Hitler Campbell, whose parents complained to the media about the fact that they couldn't get a store to write his name on his birthday cake. Now the child and his family are in the news again, as word gets out that New Jersey's Division of Youth and Family Services has taken young Adolf and his sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, away from their parents. At this writing, nothing is known about the reasons for removing the children from their home, although the source for the story, Sgt. John Harris of the Holland Township Police Department, says he has known the family for years and was not aware of any abuse. A hearing on the matter is scheduled for Thursday.

At this point, then, we know next to nothing about the basis for the case against the Campbell children's parents. What is really newsworthy is the idea, taken seriously by some experts, that giving a child a name such as those given to the Campbell children constitutes child abuse.

For example, forensic psychologist N.G. Berrill is of opinion that naming a child Adolf Hitler could constitute child abuse. "Part of it is the infantile nature of the [Campbells'] behavior. You can name your dog something weird, but they think they're making some kind of bold statement with the children, not appreciating that the children will have separate lives and will be looked at in a negative light until they're able to change their name. It is abuse." And in a study the Fox News Channel referred to in its story, economists David E. Kalist and Daniel Y. Lee of Shippensburg University -- who did not look at either Adolf or Hitler in their research -- found "unpopular" first names, coupled with negative factors like a "disadvantaged home life" may increase the tendency toward juvenile delinquency.

And then there is precedent from other countries, a favorite yardstick of legal correctitude for some members of our Supreme Court. In New Zealand in 2008, a court took a nine-year-old child away from her parents because they named her Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.

So can we add giving a kid a rotten name to the list of legitimate reasons for taking him away from his parents? It is unquestionably stupid and selfish for a parent to give a child a name that will expose him to unnecessary ridicule. But is there a "right" to be protected from ridicule, such that the state is justified in excercising its coercive police powers to intervene? Is giving a child an idiotic name really on the same level as abusing him sexually, or starving him, or neglecting him, or beating him almost to death? What is to become of children whose lives are truly in danger, if we divert scarce resources to children named after historical villains? Are we just unwilling to accept that there are problems that the government is simply incompetent to solve?

I make no brief for parents who give stupid names to their children. The last time I wrote about Adolf Hitler Campbell in this space, I excoriated and ridiculed his parents at length for giving their kids such repugnant names. But the notion bruited about by "experts" that this counts as as child abuse that should trigger police action ought to give pause.

Brother, Can You Spare a Slime?

This from Larry Flynt, the creepy, wheelchair-bound founder of Hustler magazine, and Joe Francis, the sleazy Girls Gone Wild mogul: we need a $5 million dollar bailout!

According to the repulsive reprobates, the porn industry has suffered a five-billion-dollar decline in revenue, down from $18 billion last year, and needs a boost. "The government's handing out money to the auto industry," says Francis. "Why shouldn't it hand some to an industry the nation could not live without?" Says Flynt: "People are too depressed to be sexually active. This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such, but they cannot do without sex."

These guys insist the bailout gambit isn't just a publicity stunt, and that they are going to send a written request for bailout money to Barney Frank and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. The L.A. Daily News story linked above notes that the bailout request is not being taken seriously by other members of the porn industry; but the response of Bruce Ackerman, president and CEO of the Economic Alliance of the San Fernando Valley -- where the porn industry is a huge employer -- should raise some eyebrows. Although he says no bailout request by any industry should be viewed as reasonable, and that the taxpayers should not bear such burdens, he also says: "I don't think you can laugh any of these requests off. I sympathize with any industry that needs help." Any industry?

Joe Francis and Larry Flynt are a couple of sleazy publicity hounds, and this whole thing is probably just a stunt (not that they wouldn't take the five bil if offered). But amid the wreckage of the principles upon which this country was founded, who knows what might happen?

When Jokes Come True

Remember in Ninotchka, when Greta Garbo and Melvyn Douglas are at the top of the Eiffel Tower looking out over the city lights of Paris? He asks her if it isn't a beautiful view; after agreeing that it is, she delivers the other shoe, with a perfectly straight face: But it's a wa-a-a-aste of electricity.

Now, the line in question is very funny. It's funny both because of the deadpan delivery, and because the misplaced focus of attention on electrical consumption in the face of so much beauty is absurd. Nowadays, though, you have to wonder how many people would still find this funny. Unfortunately, too many people that are being looked up to as authorities have no sense of the absurd; and, even more unfortunately, too many people who should know better are taking them seriously.

And so it is that the Australian press -- also with a perfectly straight face -- vouchsafes us a story under the following headline: Scientists Warn Christmas Lights Harm the Planet.

"CSIRO [Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation] researchers said householders should know that each bulb turned on in the name of Christmas will increase emissions of greenhouse gases," the story solemnly intones. Since Australia's electricity comes from coal, the evil of using Christmas lights to celebrate the birth of the Redeemer means an increase in "greenhouse gas emissions." Bottom line: Christianity is killing the planet.

But since the planet-destroying plebes are not willing to give up their primitive religious holidays and superstitions -- and the equally primitive desire for illumination during long winter nights -- the CSIRO has come up with helpful hints on how they can minimize their impact on our fragile ecosystem, until such time as they can be made to adopt the enlightened sterility of their betters. Timers, "energy-efficient bulbs," solar-powered lights, or "sourcing your electricity from verified green power suppliers" are all proffered as ways to avoid choking the globe on unnecessary Christmas emissions.

Well. Most people have no problem with timers, since they like to save on their electric bills, especially during tough economic times that are brought on in no small part by the meddling of the global warming people. In fact, WalMart, that citadel of white-trash consumerism and exploitation, sells timers, and even outdoor timers with light sensors, so you can have your lights come on at dusk and set them to stay on for just 2-6 hours. As for solar powered lights, there is frequently not enough sunlight to charge batteries in winter, so the net effect of solar-powered lights is likely to be little or no lights at all, which is what the global warming scaremongers are really after anyway.

And energy-efficient Christmas bulbs are the pits. Back when they used normal Christmas lights on the Idaho State Christmas Tree, you could see the Tree on the Statehouse steps all the way up Capitol Boulevard. Then the state started doling out Christmas cheer by the teaspoon, and switched to energy-efficient bulbs. The tree looks pretty in pictures, but the pictures don't convey the sad reality that you have to practically be standing underneath the tree to see it.

We live in a world that is long on violence, oppression, tyranny, hatred, and coldness, and short on kindness, gentleness, freedom, charity and warmth. It is made more so by the global warming Scrooges of the world, the new Puritans who can never rest easy as long as a spark of joy or innocent pleasure remains unextinguished anywhere on earth. If these sourpusses will not turn away from their perverted disgust with Christmas, then let them at least stop trying to drag the rest of us down into their private hell.

The Morning Commute

I just learned something new this morning: Franklin Road between Cole and Vista, and most of Capitol Boulevard, qualify as "back streets" not worthy of snow and ice removal. There was not one grain of sand or drop of de-icer even in the intersections: it was a skating rink all the way into downtown. Coworkers slipping and sliding in from various parts of the valley reported similar conditions.

The Ada County Highway District is in charge of winter road maintenance. No wonder so many people have signs in their front yards showing "ACHD" in a circle with a line through it.

Alternatives to Sacramental Confession

For those of you who would rather eat a bucket of bugs than confess your sins to a priest, consider the story of Rebecca Hancock of Jacksonville, Florida, whose church is threatening to take up the matter of her illicit sex life with the congregation.

Hancock, who has been having sex with a man to whom she is not married, left Grace Community Church because the church "harassed" her over the illicit relationship. Although Hancock is no longer a member of the church, the church has advised her in writing that they are bound to broadcast her sins to the congregation. Citing Matthew 18, the church states that it been left "with no other choice but to carry out the commands of the Lord Jesus Christ" and "tell it to the church." The pastor of Grace Community Church has declined comment, but some other local pastors defend this practice on the grounds that the Bible says to punish persistent sinners.

This story does not state explicitly whether Hancock was sinning secretly or openly and notoriously, though one gets the impression that the authorities at Grace Community Church were threatening to disclose something that was not widely known. But set aside for the moment the fact that Rebecca Hancock's activities are no longer private, now that she has told them to the media. Set aside, too, the fact that she apparently continues in a sexual relationship with a man to whom she is not married, although it might pay the church authorities to ask themselves whether their methods did not serve to make her dig her heels in.

The real question is: is public disclosure of sins, or the threat of such disclosure, really a preferable alternative to sacramental confession? Consider the facts about confession:

1. Confession removes the burden of sins. Provided you have purpose of amendment, you can be certain that when the priest says, "I absolve you of your sins," those sins are gone.

2. Confession gives you the grace to avoid sin in the future. It drags sinful tendencies out by the roots. And most of all, for our present purposes:

3. What is revealed in confession is absolutely secret. Nothing you tell the priest in confession will ever be repeated, much less broadcast to every man, woman and child in the congregation. The priest cannot repeat what he hears in confession for any reason whatsoever. Not even to save a life. Not even to save Western Civilization. Not even to prevent a meteor from striking the earth. He cannot drag out your sins and set them before the whole congregation, even if you are confessing the same sins for the 4,785,983rd time.

Confession was instituted by God. Any other method of dealing with sin was invented by men, and is about as effective as man is himself. Which ain't saying much.

The Boy Who'd Rather Be Named "Sue"

That will be three-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, as soon as he's old enough to understand.

Yep, you read that right: Adolf Hitler Campbell of New Jersey, whose parents launched him into notoriety by rushing to the media over the fact that a local grocery store would not write the boy's name on a birthday cake.

Heath Campbell -- who got to grow up with a sane name -- says he was taught that whites and minorities should never associate socially or romantically, but that he plans to raise his children differently. As a first step to this process, he and his wife Deborah named their oldest child Adolf Hitler Campbell, and then went on to name his younger sisters JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell.

Heath Campbell inanely explained that he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name." Did we also mention that on at least one previous occasion, the proud parents also wanted a swastika on the cake?

Ah. Well. Seeing that the Campbells have three children, and, being young, may well have more children; and seeing also that they run the risk of running out of "unique" names for their kids, I'd like to pitch in with some suggestions -- all along the lines of the theme they have already chosen, of course:

Magda Goebbels Childkiller Campbell
Adolf Eichmann Auschwitz Campbell
Pol Pot Killing Fields Campbell
Idi Amin Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular Campbell
Madame Mao Cultural Revolution Campbell
Mephistopheles Beelzebub Gehenna Campbell

Admittedly not all white people; but after all, evildoers are all brothers under the skin.

Update: Goofball Atheist Sign Sprouted Legs

Wailing and gnashing of teeth broke out in Olympia last Friday when the atheist sign parked next to the nativity scene at the state capitol in Olympia, Washington disappeared. According to CNN, the sign, which drew complaints to the governor's office at the rate of 200 calls an hour -- was later found in a ditch.

By far the most fascinating aspect of this story is the torrent of absolute drivel that has issued from the atheists in the wake of this incident. Some samples:

-- From Annie Laurie Gaylor, Foundation co-founder: "I guess they don't follow their own commandments. There's nothing out there with the atheist point of view, and now there is such a firestorm that we have the audacity to exist. And then [whoever took the sign] stifles our speech." It's interesting that the atheists want to get the benefits of the Ten Commandments without actually being bound by them. But as for them having their speech "stifled," that's just a damn lie. I don't know what planet Annie Gaylor has been living on, but nothing in our society is more in-your-face than the atheist point of view, which manifests itself by filing lawsuits to clear crosses, Ten Commandments monuments, nativity scenes and other Christian symbols and images from public property and city seals or, when that's not possible, by putting up stupid signs that disparage religion.

-- From Dan Barker, another Foundation co-founder and ex-Evangelical preacher: "It's not that we are trying to coerce anyone; in a way our sign is a signal of protest. If there can be a Nativity scene saying that we are all going to hell if we don't bow down to Jesus, we should be at the table to share our views." If that's really the message Dan Barker gets from the Infant Jesus and His mother, then he's already in his own private hell.

-- Another gem from Dan Barker: "Most people think December is for Christians and view our signs as an intrusion, when actually it's the other way around. People have been celebrating the winter solstice long before Christmas. We see Christianity as the intruder, trying to steal the holiday from all of us humans." Too stupid for comment.

Call me a cynic, but: is there the slightest possibility that it was the Freedom from Religion Foundation itself that disappeared the sign, in order to provide a further excuse for attacking Christians and scare up more publicity for its cause?

Naaah...not with their big attachment to the Ten Commandments and their dedication to the truth.

Prestige WITHOUT Merit

P.J. O'Rourke once said in an interview that politics is basically about prestige without merit. At that time, the paragon of prestige without merit was Bill Clinton, about whom O'Rourke asked: would he be worth a s**t doing anything else?

Now we have a new paragon of prestige without merit as -- before he even lays hand on Bible and swears the oath -- our illustrious President-Elect has a county holiday named after him. Barack Obama Day will henceforth be observed in Perry County, Alabama on the second Monday of November, on which day county offices will close, and county workers will get a paid holiday. The resolution to create the new holiday passed over the objections of county commissioner Brett Harrison, who disputed the wisdom of this new paid holiday in one of Alabama's poorest counties. Harrison was, however, quick to point out that he is a Democrat, and to declare that "the recognition is certainly well-founded."

Yes, recognition of a man who blundered into victory because his main opponent during the primaries was hateful, and because the opposing party ran a weak candidate, is certainly well-founded. Recognition of a man who is filling his administration full of Clinton retreads is certainly well-founded. Recognition of a man whose Vice-President-Elect is an idiot and plagiarist who once made a racist remark about him is certainly well-founded. Recognition of a man whose major accomplishments include supporting legalized infanticide, distancing himself from his longtime, rabidly racist pastor, garnering Fidel Castro's endorsement, and muzzling his loudmouth wife and blithering running mate in the weeks leading up to the election, is certainly well-founded.

On the other hand, paying county employees to do nothing is certainly a fitting tribute to the man who is poised to swell the federal government to proportions hitherto imagined.