I am indeed still here. The energy I spend at work, plus my preoccupation with other things going on in my life, have contributed to my silence since July, and the sparse postings for about the last year.
I feel the need of more silence. I am not sure how much good I do opening up my trap. And there is something else going on, too. Three months ago, Father Blake commented on the growing silence in the Catholic blogosphere, and raised some good points. I will see what he has to say about the uncertainty of the times and raise him. Evil is clearly having its hour right now. The world and the Church are engulfed. Despite the assurances of the false prophets proclaiming, "Peace, peace!", there is no peace. The armies of darkness are on the move, both within and without the Church, and most of us in the Church who are not marching with evil are nevertheless in a state of prostration. It seems clear from their conduct that most Catholics, even among those who attend Mass every Sunday, do not believe the content of the Catholic faith. Many priests and bishops and even cardinals do not believe the content of the Catholic faith. In my own diocese, the liturgy has been reduced to a bourgeois entertainment; people behave in church as if they were in their own living rooms; priests act as though the priesthood is just another job; and there have been no priestly ordinations for two years. Let us not kid ourselves that there is no connection between Catholic laxity and the tidal wave of evil sweeping the earth.
What can one say in the midst of all this? I feel that I am up against an immovable, implacable will. Nobody is listening. Nothing I say changes anything.
Perhaps I need to focus my energies on prayer, on setting and keeping my own house in order, and on fighting the small battles in my immediate sphere. Or, perhaps I am just copping out. Maybe I am yielding to selfishness and cowardice. Maybe I am yielding to sloth, my besetting sin and predominant fault. The ardor of my charity is cooling, like that of everyone else. It was never all that it should be.
I can only pray for the grace to do and say what I ought to, when I ought to; for the grace to correspond to grace and not waste God's inspirations; and for forgiveness for all the times I have failed Him.