Thursday, January 28, 2010

That They Too May Vandalize

When The Redoubtable Marcus Magnus told me about this ad from Quest magazine, the organ of the Muscular Dystrophy Association, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  Then when I saw it for myself, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  I still don't believe I'm looking at what I'm looking at.  I bet you can't, either.
TO:            The editor, Quest Magazine
FROM:     Anita Moore, Attorney at Law
RE:            Your Permobile scooter ad

As an attorney practicing full-time in the criminal courts of my great state, I want to thank you for the ad you ran in your latest issue for the Permobile scooter, showing how the scooter opens doors for disabled kids onto the fascinating world of malicious injury to property.  I would have thought that the idea of a scooter company encouraging felonious behavior would have raised an eyebrow or two in the editor’s office, but it is apparent that your publication has evolved beyond such outmoded, puritanical thinking.  Clearly, Quest Magazine is in the business of affirming and fulfilling every MDA sufferer’s dreams, however squalid and unlawful.  I congratulate you on your broad-mindedness.

I am not presently practicing in the juvenile court, so it will be a few years yet before I have the privilege of representing the young gentleman pictured in the ad in question; but it is always helpful to have a sneak preview of my future clientele.  My thanks to Quest Magazine for doing its bit to keep my filing cabinet in a constant state of overflow.

Very truly yours, &c.

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