Monday, August 11, 2008

Another One for the TMI Files: Uses for Afterbirth

Matthew McConaughey, goofball actor and father out of wedlock of a newborn son, has big plans for -- the placenta.
McConaughey, who cannot be troubled to marry Camila Alves, the mother of his child, has neveretheless gone to great pains to preserve the afterbirth so that, pursuant to purported ancient custom, he can plant it in an orchard.
"It's going to be in the orchards and it's going to bear some wonderful fruit," claims McConaughey in a CNN interview. "When I was in Australia, they had a placenta tree that was on the river ... and all the placentas of all that tribe, all that clan, whatever aboriginal tribe that was, all the placentas went under that one tree and it was this huge behemoth of just health and strength. This tree was just growing taller and stronger above the rest of Mother Nature around it. It was gorgeous."
Yes, trees do tend to grow taller and stronger than all the rest of Mother Nature around them; that's part of what makes them "trees." After having apparently claimed that the "ritual" of placenta-planting is found in "several cultures," world-renowned anthropologist McConaughey can cite to only one such alleged culture, whose name escapes him. For a second, reading the above transcription, I thought he was saying he believed that trees actually grow from placentas. Wouldn't be a bit surprised if the natives managed to sell him on that idea, and keep him going on it for at least a while.
The AP story records McConaughey's comment that, for the foregoing reasons, the birth of his son will one day bring joy to others. If the kid's afterbirth is what's needed to bring joy to the world, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement for the kid himself.


  1. Anita, you are hilarious! I used to like Matthew McConaughy, but maybe now I will consider him a little strange! Great write-up!

  2. It's true, P.G., Matthew McConaughey is good-looking...but it's starting to look as though that's about all he's got going for him. And frankly, that's just not enough.

    Good looks on a man without good judgment is like gold-plate on a turd.

  3. Hi Anita. Placenta planting culture/custom exists in the Maori culture, they are the indigenous people of New Zealand.