Parish Mission Statement: Because Jesus Didn't Get It Right the First Time

For some reason, the pastoral council at my parish is expending considerable man-hours (whoops, I mean, "person hours") and cerebral wattage on concocting a "vision statement" and "mission statement" for the parish. Last week's bulletin laid out the fruits of the council's labor, soliciting comments from the hoi polloi and inviting the same to fill out a survey alleged to be on the parish website (I can't find it; maybe you can). Here is the text of the proposed "vision statement", with my commentary in red (for the unannotated version, click here):

The parishioners of St. John’s Cathedral are a diverse, multicultural community of believers who are Spirit [of Vatican II]-filled and Beatitude-directed[, as this phrase is interpreted by certain parish leaders, based on their private judgment]. Relying upon our foundation of faith and history [ignorant though we may be of either], we continue to build the Kingdom of God to bring all closer to [a socially conscious, protest-marching, aluminum-can-recycling, Birkenstock-wearing, granola-eating, peacenik-hippie] Christ.

And here, if you can stomach it, is the text of the proposed "mission statement," again with my commentary in red:

We, the parishioners of St. John’s Cathedral, recognize our dual identity as a Cathedral and a parish community [and thereby hope to be a shining beacon of kookburger liberalism throughout the diocese]. We are called to build the Kingdom of God in concrete ways, [provided these don't involve appearing distinctively Catholic,] including:
• We will create a welcoming community, guided by the Holy Spirit [of Vatican II], which seeks to know and support all in their faith journey[, unless their journey is taking them in the direction of orthodox Catholicism]
• We will seek out ways to achieve unity while recognizing and honoring diversity in culture, ethnicity, life circumstances, [however scandalous,] and spiritual and temporal needs[, by suppressing orthodoxy, which is divisive]
• We will develop the faith of our diverse members [by focusing on what makes us different, rather than on our common Catholic heritage, and] by strongly supporting [heterodox] parish faith formation efforts and our Catholic school. We will nurture[, by molding according to our tastes,] a community of lifelong learners hungry to know [the liberals' version of] the Catholic faith more deeply, develop a deeper spirituality [by discarding primitive devotions like the Rosary], and spread that knowledge to others[, even if it is laden with error]
• We will promote responsible shepherding of the gifts God has given us [by decrying capitalism, private property and the market economy] and encourage members [of government] to follow Christ’s example by sharing gifts of [other people's] time, talent and treasure
• We will recognize those in need, acknowledge Christ’s presence in that need, and respond with the love and dignity due to all of Christ’s children [by engaging in symbolic acts, such as "raising awareness," in order to make the world's problems seem fun and easy to solve, and to allow us to give ourselves virtuous airs without actually getting our hands dirty]

You have to hand it to the pastoral council for setting the world's record for the most bureaucratic, pop-psychological and pop-sociological buzz words per square inch. How sweet is freedom from the shackles of the Dark Ages, and from even the mention of superfluities like:

Worship and the sacrifice of the Mass
Prayer
Death, Judgment, Heaven, Hell
The Eucharist
The Sacraments
Sorrow for sins, penance and purpose of amendment
Making disciples of all the nations
Our Blessed Mother
Being in the world but not of it
The Precepts of the Church
Faith, hope and charity
Distinctively Catholic devotions, like the Rosary
The Communion of Saints
Mercy and the forgiveness of sins
The Name of Jesus
Loyalty and obedience to the Magisterium

A friend of mine, applying his uncluttered mind to the problem with his usual deadly precision, puts the case more succinctly than I have seen anyone else put it up to now: our mission was set by Jesus Christ nearly 2,000 years ago, and there is nothing new to add. Here, for the benefit of the pastoral council, is Matthew 28:19-20:

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age.

Why do we need any more, or anything other, than that?